


Don't Poke

by Artemis_Neardos, kittykatkatastrophii



Series: Shenanigans [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Alpha is grumpy cat, Clone Trooper Shenanigans (Star Wars), Gen, Shenanigans, author refers to clones as beans, cadets are brave beans
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 19:26:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29987676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Artemis_Neardos/pseuds/Artemis_Neardos, https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittykatkatastrophii/pseuds/kittykatkatastrophii
Summary: Cadet Shenanigans. Poor Alpha-17.
Series: Shenanigans [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2212128
Comments: 7
Kudos: 67





	Don't Poke

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to kittykatkatastrophii sending me a TikTok about a bunch of kittens bothering an old cat, this short story happened. Because Star Wars own our brains this idea popped up and became a thing. Enjoy.

The 212th and 501st have found themselves on Kamino at the same time. Most of their men choose to stay shipside, but Obi-Wan and Anakin don’t have that luxury. Cody and Rex don't have that luxury. After a grueling few hours meeting with Shaak Ti and some of the trainers, Obi-Wan trots his way from the conference room and breathes a sigh of relief. Anakin has gone off to “make a call”, which Obi-Wan knows means he’s going to check in with Padme. Ahsoka had elected to stay on the Resolute, likely to get up to some trouble while her Master and Captain were away, so Obi-Wan found himself without something to do until it was time to go back to their ships. As he wandered the halls of the cloning facility he smiled and waved at cadets that he passed, saluted and tried to smile at older clones going about their training, and doing his best not to want to trip any of the Kaminoans just to see what would happen.

He finds himself walking along the hall outside the mezzanine level to the mess hall. He’s just about to turn around to find something else to occupy his time when he spots a shock of 212th gold and 501st blue in the mezzanine. Curious as to what the two men are doing, Obi-Wan heads in to say hello and see what’s got their attention. There are several other older clones, almost ready to be sent out into the galaxy that are in there as well, all of them tilted and avidly watching something down below. Cody is sitting at a table right next to the railing, a cup of caf in hand, overlooking the main mess hall, with Rex leaning casually on the metal railing. Both men look relaxed, yet hyper focused on whatever it is they are looking at. As Obi-Wan approaches, Rex huffs a laugh and Cody gives a devious smirk. When Obi-Wan is a few feet from them, Cody’s sixth sense of knowing when Obi-Wan is close must kick in because the Commander turns to look at him.

“Sir”, Cody greets, “Meeting go ok?”

“All well and good, my dear”, Obi-Wan responds with a smile.

Cody nods and turns back to look past the railing.

“Where’s the General?”, Rex asks, though he doesn’t look away from whatever it is he’s watching down below.

“He said he had to make a call”, Obi-Wan says as he tries to fight a smile.

Rex and Cody both make humming noises of acknowledgement, when Rex breaks off and gives a quiet hiss and a wince.

“What are you two looking at?”, Obi-Wan finally can’t help but ask, curiosity getting the better of him.

Obi-Wan steps up to next to where Cody is sitting and looks down at the sea of tables and chairs. There’s young and old clones milling about. The younger cadets in groups, being half minded by tired looking Kaminoans. For a brief moment Obi-Wan sympathizes with them. He knows how unruly a group of Vode can be, even as adults. He can only imagine them as headstrong children, alterations to be more docile not able to hinder the brashness of childhood rebelliousness. His gaze passes over the main mess hall with interest and curiosity until he comes upon what is definitely the focus of the moment.

Alpha-17 is sitting at one of the tables with a plate of food and a datapad. Obi-Wan has great respect for the older clone. Alpha-17, the few times that Obi-Wan has worked with him, has proven to be a strong, dependable, respectful man and an excellent soldier. He’s heard many of the men throughout the GAR mention Alpha-17. Their opinions and stories of the older vod are varied and often range from appreciative and fond to buried frustration and mild fear, but clearly they always have an air of unbridled respect. He’s heard stories and been witness to the fierceness and destruction that Alpha-17 is capable of. Even he, Obi-Wan, Jedi Master, will happily admit that he’d never want to be on the opposing end of Alpha-17’s ire, disappointment, or anger. He’d rather face down Maul instead of ever having to fight Alpha-17. No, Obi-Wan knows better than to ever do anything to end up on the bad side of a surly, very deadly, Alpha-17.

Which is why what he sees down in the mess hall is so amusing. Now he understands why Cody and Rex are so focused on watching what’s unfolding.

There’s a group of 7 cadets that have wandered away from their group and their minder, to find their way over to Alpha-17’s table. They look to be about 10 or so, reminding Obi-Wan of the young Boba Fett he met the first time he came to Kamino so long ago. One thing is certain, none of them have a bone of self preservation. The young ones are all crowded around Alpha-17, picking at his clothes, poking at his armor, all of them asking questions and talking at the same time. One brave cadet even steals a piece of food off of Alpha-17’s plate when he’s distracted at swatting away one of his brothers.

“Well”, Obi-Wan fights to say through his choked snickering, “bless their hearts.”

“They’ve been at it for about 15 minutes. We’re surprised they’ve been left alive this long”, Cody says.

“Esshh”, Rex cringes as they watch one of the cadets on the opposite side of the table lean over the and tug at the datapad in Alpha-17s hand, “He’s way more even keel now than when we were that age. We’d have been thrown clear across the room by now.”

It’s like watching a shipwreck in slow motion as another cadet reaches up and starts to poke his finger at the edge of Alpha-17’s ear. That it seems is the final straw for the older clone and he bangs one fist on the table and swipes out at the cadets with the other.

“Kark off!”, Alpha-17 snarls dangerously, his eyes narrowed in deadly irritation.

A sensible person with any amount of common sense would leave off and count their blessings, running away with their tails between their legs, but at least alive. The cadets are not sensible. All 7 younglings start snapping and quipping at Alpha-17.

“No!”

“We’re bored!”

“Oh yeah, fight us!”

“What are you gonna do?”

“You kark off!”

“Di’kut!”

“Ha!”

It’s like watching a litter of tooka kits hiss and puff up in the face of a pissed of grown nexu.

“They straight up woke up today and chose death”, Rex says with almost wonder in his voice.

“Mn. Shame”, Cody hums as he takes a sip of his caf.

Obi-Wan has a fleeting moment of considering going and rescuing the poor cadets. Then he decides that perhaps this will be a good lesson for them. Better them learn a valuable lesson than Obi-Wan be subject to the absolutely withering glare Alpha-17 is giving the cadets at the moment. Besides, surely one of the Kaminoans would step in before Alpha-17 could do any real damage to the ill fated younglings. Maybe.

The cadets are still antagonizing and circling Alpha-17 when one of them gets just a little too close. Fast as a lightning flash, Alpha-17 reaches out and snags the unfortunate cadet by the front of his uniform, swings him up clear off his feet into the air, then down to slam with his back on the table. The cadet gasps as the wind gets knocked out of him and the mess hall goes deadly still and silent. The 6 other cadets look wide eyed and startled as they jump to hide behind each other, but go still when Alpha-17s glare turns on them.

“I don’t know what you lot got into that makes you think you’re so brave, but you’re about to see your short lives flash before your eyes”, Alpha-17 growls low and terrifying.

“W-w-we, um, we ju-just-”, one of the cadets stutters out.

“You just what?”, Alpha-17 challenges coldly.

“We-we. I mean. Vibe said you were fun to pick on”, another of the cadets says shakily.

Alpha-17’s eyes narrow as he looks over the quivering younglings. Obi-Wan feels like shrinking in on himself and he’s all the way up in the mezzanine.

“Vibe?”, Alpha-17 asks after a second of glaring down the cadets.

“Y-yea. He’s one of the volunteers that helps with hand to hand training”, a third cadet is quick to say.

There’s a moment of stillness before Alpha-17 releases the cadet he has trapped on the table and he picks up his datapad. When he turns to the cadets again, they all jump back a foot with frightened squeaks.

“Where’s Vibe now, you think?”

“Umm...l-last we say he was up in the ra-rafters in hanger 12. Said he was fixing a loose bolt”, a fourth squeaks.

“A loose bolt indeed”, Alpha-17 says evenly, “You boys take this as a lesson not to always trust when a brother tells you to pick on another. Any of you come at me again I’ll beat you to mush and then throw you in the ocean as fish food. Hear me?”

All 7 cadets nod quickly and shift nervously. With a final nod, Alpha-17 walks past the cadets and out of the mess hall. Only after the door closes behind him do the cadets collapse over each other. The rest of the mess hall comes back to life and a few brothers move to check on the poor younglings huddled on the floor.

“Well, whoever Vibe is, may he rest in peace”, Cody says.

“Yeah, no kidding. He isn't gonna be vibing for long”, Rex agrees, then grins at his own joke.

Cody rolls his eyes and takes another sip of caf, chuckling lightly. Obi-Wan can’t help but laugh along with them.

The End.


End file.
